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息子たちは先週それぞれ短冊をもらってきて、願い事を書いて持って行き、笹に飾られ、昨日戻って来たのでリビングに飾った。
上の子の短冊には、
「さかーせんしゅになれますように」
計算が大の得意で、国語が苦手な息子でした。
今週も気づいたらもう金曜日。
またもやジャズカフェに入り浸ってる私。
先週金曜夕方に舞い込んだ絵本の翻訳の見直しをし今朝納品した。
今週は月曜が向こう都合でオフになり、火曜日に下の子が夜熱を出し水曜日は私都合でお休みになったので、結局お勤めはゼロ。
なーんか乗らないなあ。物事って上手くいく時は何でもトントン拍子に物事が進み、さささっといろいろ進むが、いかない時って停滞する。
残念だけど、この調子だとやはり投資家のところはお断りすることになるかな。
お互い需要と供給が噛み合ってない気がするし、いろいろと。
でも、やはり一番の原因は、私がどっちつかずというか、何が一番のプライオリティなのかってとこをしっかり自分の中で決めないままやみくもに動いてるからだと思う。
（て、今更気づいている私、、、）
比重が子育てなのか仕事なのか。
→今は子育て。
下の子が０歳でまだまだ突発的に熱を出したりする時点で、そこに照準を合わせて、多少待遇面が悪くても、近場で融通がきく環境、状況によっては在宅でもできるような仕事を選ぶべきなのだろう。
特に３１１の時私は勤めが恵比寿だったため１時間程度で歩いて帰って来られたが、新宿だった旦那は３時間以上かかった。
あの不安さがトラウマになっていて、大手町、とか日比谷、とか、ある一定の距離を越えると気持ち的に二の足を踏んでしまう。特に今は子どもも２人に増え、尚更。
距離、待遇、仕事内容、と全方位で満点の仕事はそうそうあるわけはなく、特にパートとなると更に狭まる。
それに加え年齢的な焦りがかさなり、その先のキャリアへ！と 気持ちばかり焦るが、実際はそんなおいそれと全て出来るわけもなく、まずは自分に出来ることから。
あとは、やはり仕事相手は外人かな、というとこかな。
英語でコミュニケーションとっているほうが私はミスマッチが少ないみたい。
８月はお盆休みもあるし、ニッパチは世の中の流れも停滞するから、仕事は９月スタートを目処にゆるーりと探すことにします。
よい週末を！
Yesterday was Tanabata in Japan.
On Tanabata, children write their wishes on a piece of paper and hang it on a bamboo tree. Tanabata's story originally came from China, where a prince and princess are apart from each other in the sky and they are only able to meet each other once a year, on July 7th when stars gather and make a river.
Koki wrote his wish, "I want to be a soccer player".
Hiroto scribbled on the paper and on the back, Koki drew all of us and I wrote down, "I hope everyone's health in year 2016".
This week was slow, with Monday called off by the advisory guy and Hiroto having a high fever on Tuesday night making me calling Wednesday off.
Hiroto's fever came from the runny nose, an ear infection again.
Poor little guy.
His doctor gave him antibiotics again. His nose stopped running yesterday and he went back to the day care today.
A children book translation flew in last Friday so this week I worked on it (it was actually better that my Monday was off) and delivered just a few hours ago.
I really enjoy translation work and in near future I hope to find more work in translation.
I realize I clearly need to define to myself what I prioritize in my life right now before making application or jumping on an opportunity.
(Yes, I am finally seeing this...after all those stumbling)
With Hiroto and Koki, situation changes day by day and I need to find a job that lets me accommodate such changes.
It is unfortunate but reality is I cannot make 100% commitment to my job at this point in my life and that as much as the wage is important, it is more important that I need someone who can really be flexible about my family situation.
This means no full time (of course), close location (within 40 minutes from my house, this really limits workplace), bilingual work and possibly partial remote work when one of the children falls sick or a school event arises.
I have this trauma from 311 about distance.
I was in Ebisu when that big earthquake hit us in 2011. I could come back home walking within an hour from my workplace to pick up Koki, but Toru was in Shinjuku where he spent more than 3 hours getting home.
I keep thinking what happens if both of us were that far away from 2 boys, it is heart stopping just to imagine.. scary thought but definitely something we need to consider seriously.
Now with more children, I feel more insecure about being away more than a certain distance from home. I want to be able to come back swiftly to pick up my boys if another quake hits us again (I am hoping it won't happen but Japan is such an earthquake prone country that no one can predict).
The other thing, an English environment.
Maybe I spent too long working for non Japanese. I seem to communicate better in English when it comes to work...
I think I am going to take time (really) to find my next job.
August is coming up when businesses are slow and I will be slow as well with summer break.
I hope to find and start something by September maybe, though I am always open for an opportunity.
Have a nice weekend!
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