秋雨

先週末は祭り。
息子はクラスの友達二人と一緒に神輿も担ぎ、最後に拍子木も打たせてもらった。東京はやはり祭りが良い。
が、親は大変。
下の子抱えて数時間付き合い、いろいろな意味で疲れた。

出身が一緒の友達が近くにたまたま住んでいるのだが、彼女に会うと、種々違うところはあれど、やはり似たような環境で育ったというのは大きいな、と思う。
なんとなく、地域性てやはりあるからね。彼女と話してると、なんか、やはり神奈川県の端っこの海のあの町はのんびりしてたのかな〜と思う。
せっかちか、とか、そうゆうのとは別で、生きる時間、というかね、
この辺の人は速くて、たまに同じようにゼンマイがまけなくなったりするわ。

親になると、子供を取り巻く半ば強制、任意両方の意味でいろいろな付き合いが発生しだし、
うちの親は私が小さい頃、ことごとく我が道を貫き、強制・任意ともにバッサバッサ切り捨てたおかげで、
私や姉は居心地が悪い思いをすることが多かったのだが、
だからこそ、我が子には同じ思いをさせないよう極力参加するようにはしているのだが、
三つ子の魂百まで、で、悲しいかな、そうゆう母に育てられた私は根本的にそうゆうのが苦手なので、
ここ少しストレス溜まり気味。

ちょっと近しい人以外のLINEとかはお休みで、と。

週末は雨予報だったのに、昨日から曇り予報に変わり、係を仰せつかってる学童の運動会は決行ぽいわ、、、

息子は楽しみらしいが、親はテンション超低め。
それに加え、学校の来期PTA決めのアンケートが回ってきて、
なんなんだよ、この悪しきシステム、と更にテンション↓

まじ、お金さえあれば私立入れたいわ！

昨日会社でそんなような話を社長にしてたら、子供がアメリカ人の元妻と住んでる社長が、

アメリカの公立もかなり親が関わらなきゃ行けなくて大変そうだよ、

と言っていたから、何処も一緒かね。

たださ、アメリカは日本ほど人間関係が粘着質じゃないから、なんか、ちょっと違う気もしないでもないが、、、

とはいえ、今のところ海外へのリロケーションの予定もなくドメスティックにやってく予定なので、

来月からは仕事も増えるし、旦那に各所で登場してもらうことにしましょう！！

リスクヘッジ？は大切です。

Autumn rain is prevailing this week.

Umbrellas everywhere everyday.

I was happy that this rain will carry over to this coming weekend cancelling a sports event at Kokis after school.program which we must participate because I am given a role.

I am starting to be stressed aboutthings related to school and this program. 

I was crossing my finger it will rain but looks like it will be cloudy but no rain possibly sunny.

I would seriously consider putting my kids in a private school if we were well off.  I dont know about other countries but here, expensive private schools ask for donations besides expensive tuitions but parents dont have to get involved at all (and thats why they make you pay).

My mom is a tough woman and I remember when I was little, my sisters and I had to go through tough situations often because my mom was not to put up with this public school double sided inefficient system (and yes, the system has been the same since ancient times).

I wish I had the same iron heart as my mom and say no to things that are on the front a volunteer out of good will participation but in reality mandatory.

Last weekend Koki went to matsuri with his friends, enjoyed it. My feet tired from carrying Hiroto plus walking, chatting with moms.

Because moms come all come from dicferent backgrounds, not everyone gets along but we all at least try to be harmless to each other for our own children. Of course, some may become good friends but I try to keep a certain distance to keep things simple, friendly enough but not closer but this becomes tricky when a mom wants to be closer just becuse her son is a good friend with Koki.

Sleep overs....now our turn but I am so reluctant about inviting kids over. Mendokusai is the word in Japanese, too much trouble.

I dont dislike kids in general but I have enough going on with my own children. Houses Koki went to sleep over, both moms emailed and asked any allergy, likings and duslikings in food,  cooked dinner and breakfast. I told Koki, at my house, it will be pizza and salad for dinner, toast and fruit for breakfast, American style :)

I just dont plan to `take orders`. Plus, looking at Koki, kids tend to not eat  much at other ppls houses (they like moms cooking the best ususlly).

I remenber my ex American boss (a mom) complaining about this as well. Japanese women, they are still old fashioned, try too hard to do everything perfectly. We moms work too hard already...

Again, Im in a way a misfit to this society.

Japanese society is sometimes too group oriented. You have to watch others and make sure you dont stand out.

I watch myself carefully but often I feel crammed, makes me want to stretch and do whatwver, say whatever, live however, but with children, I must be careful because having an odd parent puts his her kids put them in a spot (and I know this from my experience).

Well, we dont plan to relicate outside Japan, so I must find a balance. Work and friends good source of balance and of course my family.