疲れた・・・ Burnt out

職場に復帰し６ヶ月。絶壁を這い上がり、なんとか山谷をならし平地を目前に敷けたとほっとしたと思ったらまた谷で山。ぎりぎりのところで保つも最終打を今週打ち込まれアウト！秋になんとか見送った転職活動を本格的に再開することにしました。
腰を据えて取り組んで行こうと気持ちを切り替え、自分をなんとか奮い立たせた矢先の最終打だったので怒り心頭／脱力感大。
でもね、自分を幸せにできるのは自分しかいないし、自分の幸せあっての家族の幸せだから、守りに入らずここは勝負に出なければね。
もう大人（今年のキーワード☆）なので誰がどーで何がこーでは省略しますが、怒りという感情は人間の体力も精神力も奪うもの。なんとか心の平静を保ち、怒りを自分の中に生まない生活を送りたいものです。
この極寒の中、再来週あたりパーっとしにサーフィンいってきます！
卯年、飛躍、がんばります！！

Just when I was about to say "persevearance, to step up to new frontier", final slap on my face, bang, there I had it, no longer take it. Past 6 months I climbed up steep hill, run down a slope, seeing a hill again, thought managed to flatten the hill and slope, there goes a big down hill again, had to give up. I think I tried and that's enough.
As much as I wanted to persevere the situation and stay calm in a turbulance to see a new frontier way ahead of me, with a final slap I couldn't hang in there any more, had to let go of my cling.

Anyway, I am out in a market again. Though my intention of coming back to work this time was to stay at one place to grow, I guess I need to move on to stay happy.

At the end of the day, I can only make myself happy and that if Im not happy I cannot make my loved ones happy. So move on....

Take it easy.